This week has been a rough one. Full of confusion, heartache and grief. Normally I can handle death in a way that is "normal" and eventually move forward like as though that person is gone, but not forgotten. This time, its harder. This time a death gravely affects my daughter, and my heart breaks every time i see hers breaking. Everyone is affected differently by death. Some cry for what feel like forever, some get angry and others just feel lost. I will admit I ugly cried this time. And I cried even more when the news was told to my daughter. As a parent it kills you inside on so many levels to cause your child pain like that. But fortunately in this case, my girl has all the love and support she could ever ask for. Me, well I'll be okay one day. Though that probably won't be until after she is okay. Even as I sit here and type this, I am feeling tears building up in my eyes.
Death and loss always bring up the what ifs, and the regrets. And its those hurdles that we must push through no matter how difficult they may seem. My way of pushing through them, is to find ways to help others heal. I always seem to worry about others first, and myself last (probably not what I should be doing). So when those close to me lose someone, I take the two talents I have and pick a stone and wrap it to make a pendant to help them make it through this difficult moment. The stone I choose for occasions like this is almost always Apache Tear. Though in some cases I have used other stones more suited to that person in particular.
Apache tears and their historical meaning is interesting, as these stones are powerful to heal you, if you are feeling grief and emotional distress. These are also great grounding stones, which I find helps those who feel lost in situations such as this. They are a beautiful natural forming type of obsidian with a more friendly vibration than other obsidians. Their small size makes using them in a pendant form quite easy, though their smoothness often leads to a few choice words escaping my lips as I try to wrap them.
All in all, I love making them, and I hope that they bring some comfort to those who need them. And how ever you choose to grieve, may I hope that it goes as smoothly as it can. We will always wish we could have just one more conversation, just one more hug from those we've lost. I think about one last phone call from my grandmother, or one last round of laughs with my aunt over some caesars quite often. I think also of the messenger games I will not be able to play with my cousin. But even though those thoughts bring me tears, I still smile, knowing that they are at peace.
Hug your loved ones close, and don't hold grudges. For tomorrow is never promised to us.