This week has been a rough one. Full of confusion, heartache and grief. Normally I can handle death in a way that is "normal" and eventually move forward like as though that person is gone, but not forgotten. This time, its harder. This time a death gravely affects my daughter, and my heart breaks every time i see hers breaking. Everyone is affected differently by death. Some cry for what feel like forever, some get angry and others just feel lost. I will admit I ugly cried this time. And I cried even more when the news was told to my daughter. As a parent it kills you inside on so many levels to cause your child pain like that. But fortunately in this case, my girl has all the love and support she could ever ask for. Me, well I'll be okay one day. Though that probably won't be until after she is okay. Even as I sit here and type this, I am feeling tears building up in my eyes.
Death and loss always bring up the what ifs, and the regrets. And its those hurdles that we must push through no matter how difficult they may seem. My way of pushing through them, is to find ways to help others heal. I always seem to worry about others first, and myself last (probably not what I should be doing). So when those close to me lose someone, I take the two talents I have and pick a stone and wrap it to make a pendant to help them make it through this difficult moment. The stone I choose for occasions like this is almost always Apache Tear. Though in some cases I have used other stones more suited to that person in particular.
Apache tears and their historical meaning is interesting, as these stones are powerful to heal you, if you are feeling grief and emotional distress. These are also great grounding stones, which I find helps those who feel lost in situations such as this. They are a beautiful natural forming type of obsidian with a more friendly vibration than other obsidians. Their small size makes using them in a pendant form quite easy, though their smoothness often leads to a few choice words escaping my lips as I try to wrap them.
All in all, I love making them, and I hope that they bring some comfort to those who need them. And how ever you choose to grieve, may I hope that it goes as smoothly as it can. We will always wish we could have just one more conversation, just one more hug from those we've lost. I think about one last phone call from my grandmother, or one last round of laughs with my aunt over some caesars quite often. I think also of the messenger games I will not be able to play with my cousin. But even though those thoughts bring me tears, I still smile, knowing that they are at peace.
Hug your loved ones close, and don't hold grudges. For tomorrow is never promised to us.
In April of 2012, I took a trip to Vancouver with my man to enjoy a much needed getaway from the day to day. It was a nice drive there from central Alberta. Took us a couple days, but it was so worth it. At that time of year, you can still see ice waterfalls coming off the hills as you go through the mountains. Seeing the various wildlife is always a treat on that drive. I believe we stayed in Kamloops, and ate at The Whitespot on the way there (i would almost kill just to have a serving of their chicken pot pie).
This was the amazing view of the water from English Bay beach right next to our hotel. Even though I had been to Vancouver a couple years prior to this, I was still amazed at the size of the ships and how close up I could see some of them. As a landlocked country girl, this was definitely a sight to be seen. We did our typical relax and sight seeing. We eventually went to the Lonsdale Quay Market where I spent money on a new designer purse. Now this purse will later play a key in what set me on this path that I now find myself on.
The next day, with purse on my back, we went for a long walk around the perimeter of Stanley Park. The tide was out, and I got the bright idea to jump off the path into the sand where normally the ocean would be. It was then that I saw my first piece of beach glass. Worn down and a dark shade of green, I looked further down and there was another piece. I collected approximately about 7 pounds of the wonderful glass gifts and had placed them all in my wonderful new purse, that now smelled quite strongly of the ocean.
Once our trip was over and we had made our way back to Alberta, I was left with a 7 lb designer purse that now smelled of the ocean, and I needed to justify as to why I had done that to my poor purse. So I bought some wire, and tools, and went to work honing my wire wrapping skills. Back then i was self taught and things worked but were far from pretty. So I took a few wire wrapping classes, and learned some much needed knowledge. From beach glass to start, I soon started working with gemstones after several requests from customers. When their requests went beyond just getting a stone wrapped, and they started to ask for healing stones, what stones were good for what, and for intention jewelry, I realized then I needed to make that leap to becoming a crystal healer. I signed up for my course. Passed it with flying colors, and have been constantly learning more ever since.
Back then I had no clue that I would be where I am today. But I would never go back and change a thing....except maybe using something other than my designer purse to put the beach glass into.